wisdom in slipknot

It's been what, 14 months? You'd think that it'd be water under the bridge by now. But the bridge doubles as a damn and even though most got through, there's still a pretty big pond behind it. It's hard to explain as it changes day to day, mood to mood. I can't say 100% that I'm over and done with it. But I can say 99% I don't want to go back there. That 1% though...it's a big 1%. And I don't know if it's because of her or just that I miss being in a relationship. I miss our relationship. I miss what we had. I've been missing it a lot lately. I don't know it is. Must be the season. It's just hard, after 3 years it's hard to imagine myself in the same situations with someone else. All that history, all the trust, all those memories. I just don't feel like I have the energy to do that again. Start from the beginning...I just don't know. A palm reader told her a few years ago that she was going to marry me. I never believed those things...but it stuck in my head.

Ugh. I don't know. I don't give myself enough credit.

I got my ears pierced and stretched. (apparently gauged isn't a real word). It hurt, they're a size 4. But totally worth it. Plus, I got to have an awesome south street adventure with Liz. Mad good times.

It's 10:18pm. I've been sitting in the CAB office since 8:30 waiting to here who got elected CAB president. I think I'm just going to go home and wait for the phone call.

Ugh.

Currently listening to the magic of Pandora lifting my mood with music.